Tuesday, April 28, 2009

We're off...again....but with CB6000s (small)


Ok, the infection finally cleared up without an embarrassing trip to the Dr and I just lay low for a while on the chastity front. We had family staying with us and there was no time for play. My Wife felt some lacking in our relationship which I think stems from the pressure at work (but at least I have a job right now - sympathies to all who are struggling in these times).

My Wife also knows that when I am locked and frustrated that I am more attentive to Her and Her needs. So here we are - 6 days denied and 24/7 locked again. Last night was a 3 hour ordeal of tease and denial while my Wife watched Her favorite shows, and I tried as I grimaced with frustration as She edged me over and over.

I saw last yesterday that they have released a CB6000s. The s stands for small since it is only 2.5" long, the same length as the CB2000. Well, it sits on my desk and hopefully my Wife will release me at lunch and replace the CB6000 with the CB6000s.

My Wife seems defiant to keep me frustrated until at least the weekend. I don't know what will happen then but I am not going to attempt to script anything as I have in the past. I've told my Wife that I enjoy Her control over me and no scripts.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Infection....

Last Friday after being locked 24/7 in my BirdLocked (BL) for 5 days with no release, I had to request that my Wife remove the BL as I noticed my foreskin was swelling inside. I assumed this was because my foreskin had moved forward and was trapped. I have had this rarely in a CB3000 if my foreskin poked out of the pee hole.

Well, once removed it was obvious that this was more than just a swelling. I left it for 24 hours and applied some antibiotic cream, but the swelling did not go down. I looked online and found that steroid cream may work so I started using that. Finally after 4 days the swelling has almost subsided but the skin is very dry and tight, making it difficult to pull back over my penis head.

The problem seems to be that the silicon BL is very tight and doesn't allow the penis to breath, and therefore sweat accumulates and allows bacteria to grow. The holes are too small to use the sponge swabs that I use effectively with the CB6000. I tried using the jet setting on the shower to force water into the cage every day but a) that wasn't enough and b) I couldn't dry inside the device with tissue as I can with a CB6000 and the swab.

The only discomfort I have is from the blue balls of not cumming for 12 days, and even though I have been unlocked for 4 days, there was no way I could masturbate with my foreskin as it was. I'm just glad I didn't have to go to the emergency room.

Bottom line is that the BL will only be used for short term use in the future. The BL is very comfortable but not practical for long term use. The search for a good long term plastic device that is both comfortable and secure continues.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

24 hours in BirdLocked

So it has been 24 hours since I was locked in my BirdLocked device. It is definitely more difficult to put on but once you get everything straight it is very comfortable, but very tight (just how I like it). I might be tempted by the minibirdlocked at some point. My Wife loves it, since it is soft and locked less harsh than the CB6000.

My Wife is also seriously considering keeping me locked while my family is here next week - for 2 weeks. So far there has been no teasing but I am on day 6 since my last orgasm, and the ache is definitely returning.

I've very much decided that I am not going to direct any part of this chastity period, and make no requests or suggestions. I want to see where my Wife takes this session without any guidance from me.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Overdue



Well, it's been a long time and I am well overdue a post. Yes, we made it to 40 days and yes, my Wife strapped me to out Liberator Esse and whipped my ass raw, before turning me over and teasing me endlessly. It was 3 hours of torture and torment before She finally made me cum, and yes, She stroked right through the orgasm continuing with post orgasm torture for several minutes. It was definitely a sensory overload. So much so I've resisted going back to chastity until now, and hence my lack of blogs.

Well, I am sitting here waiting for my Wife to come home, locked in my new BirdLocked device. It can be found at birdlocked.com. I tried it on once, but this is the first time I have locked it on. My Wife doesn't know I have it since it arrived after our last session and I have not gone back to chastity since. Well, it is locked and the key is locked in my Wife's key safe so there is no escape now.

My Wife mentioned going back to being locked up several times this weekend so now I have bitten the bullet, so to speak. I also bought a locking collar, with the idea that the collar should be put on before my chastity device is removed. The lock from the device is then locked onto the collar, meaning that the collar cannot be removed without removing the lock. The collar remains locked until the chastity device is replaced and ready to be locked. This was, I can only take off the collar if the chastity device is locked back on.

Obviously I will be to embarrassed to leave the house or be seen with a collar locked on my neck so I will have to replace the chastity device first.

We'll see how this goes, as this is likely to be the first day of tease and denial for a while. We have visitors coming next week for 2 weeks. My Wife has always resisted keeping me locked while we have visitors since the CB6000 is hard and an accidental bump may raise eyebrows. But this device is soft, so I may be locked with no release for those 2 weeks. I will let you know.

Anyway, I will try to keep up my blogging and will let you know how the birdlocked device works out. So far, tight but comfortable.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Day 38, and......

and....I don't know.

I am having a melt down on the whole chastity play thing. As I said before, I don't want to be in the position of playing with chastity just because my Wife is doing it just to please me. So now I am finding myself pushing back on the whole thing.

I was getting uncomfortable in my cage last night and said I wanted to take it off, and my Wife said 'sure'. Earlier in the day I had said that I was over these fantasies and no longer wanted to be in the 'all about me' play scenario. So that was it,...I was free, the cage didn't go back on, and nothing else was said all evening.

At bed time my Wife said that I am not to play with myself in the shower in the morning (being unlocked). As it happened I didn't, just because I really didn't feel like it even though it's been 38 days since I last had an orgasm.

So this morning I get ready for work as usual but no cage. At breakfast my Wife said I had to put the cage back on but I resisted. She said that it wasn't an option. That's when I threw back at Her that She said my punishment for not following the rules would be that She will no longer play - so I said I'm not following the rules, my punishment is that you won't play, so there. She ignored that and insisted that I be caged.

So I am caged again, but have lost all enthusiasm and really not sure where this goes. I suggested yesterday that we fore go the tease and torture session on Sunday that we agreed to and just have some 1 on 1 time together. Her reply was 'ok'. That really killed my enthusiasm since that was a bit of a test on my side to see if She would bite and insist on the session that we had previously agreed to. But no - She is just doing what I want to do, to make me happy.

Confused and depressed......

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Mixed thoughts

well I am only 3 days from being allowed an orgasm, and as I have detailed here the way in which it was agreed between my Wife and I that it was going to happen. Suffice it to say that it involved multiple orgasms, each followed by post orgasm torture.

Well I am now having second thoughts. I get very horny when denied for a long time and my fantasies run wild, and maybe the reality now that it is getting so close is not so enticing? I am also struggling with the fact that my Wife is really only doing this to please me, and I'm getting myself confused as to whether I want to do this under that basis. I would love Her to be Dominant and dictate my fate, be more creative in our sessions. But that is not happening.

There is no escaping that my Wife is not naturally Domme and despite Her efforts She never will be. I want Her to let me wear panties under my clothes as a symbol of my submissiveness but that seems to gross Her out. I try to get Her to let me do domestic chores around the house, like make the bed, wash dishes, laundry, etc, but She insists that She wants to do those things for me. She does not want to embrace my servitude. The only service She is interested in is getting a massage, but even then if I say I am tired She will not push it.

Last night She told me to get my cuffs for a tease, but it was late and I needed to get up early this morning. I said this and She agreed. She will not insist on anything, and will not punish me if I don't do as I am told.

Her latest idea is that for punishment She will stop all chastity and teasing, and just ignore my fantasies. If I want Her to be the Domme I have to abide by the rules. The problem with that is that I sometime want a break, and I really want Her to enforce my servitude and chastity during that time. But under these rules, I just stop playing, and so will She. So, really I am now considering just taking a break from it all, and stop pushing anything.

As I said,....mixed thoughts and utter confusion.....

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Day 35.....


Wow,....5 weeks and no orgasm....I'm in uncharted territory.

We were away last week, but that didn't stop my Wife from teasing me for at least 2 hours every day - usually 30 minutes in the morning and an hour or so in the evening. Last night was a marathon of agony. My Wife teased me for over 3 hours. At the end I came so close that I started to dribble cum, but my Wife stopped, and a dribble was all I could manage. 5 more days to a full orgasm.

We are still on plan for Sunday when my Wife will stroke me through orgasm and continue to stroke my over sensitive cock head for a marathon post orgasm torture session. Allowing time to recover between orgasms my Wife will bring me to orgasm and stroke through several times through the evening until I am totally drained, each orgasm followed by post orgasm torture.

For Valentine's Day I bought my Wife a Liberator Esse with the Black label conversion kit which turns it into a bondage piece of furniture (see pic). This is where I will spend most of Sunday.

My Wife also told me that She would allow me a request for Valentine's Day, since I am just finishing my birthday request of 40 days of denial. I am planning to ask Her to make me wear lingerie during my orgasm torture session and then to make me wear panties 24/7 for at least the next 30 days. I know She was receptive to my previous requests, but I did really push the whole sissy thing before. I'm going to approach this as more a private humiliation to remind me of my servitude as Her slave. I'm hoping this will get Her used to the idea going forward. We shall see.